My thoughts of solitude
When I was a child, I always took the safe route to anything that crossed my path. If I thought something could cause me physically harm or distress, I would stay away from it to protect myself. When I first learnt about solitude, I thought of the movie “Cast Away” where Tom Hanks gets standard on an island for years and eventually begins to lose his sanity. The thought of this scared me and I took this movie as a lesson to always be around other people, since it made me believe humans are innately attracted to others and that we need each other to function properly.
This is actually a main reason why I chose to major in human resources. I like being around other people and I always thought it to be the healthiest thing to do. It wasn’t until a year or two ago that I really began to appreciate what solitude can do for a person. Maybe it’s the fact that since coming to university, I have had constant human contact and it has made me appreciate the claiming of loneliness.
But are we ever really alone? The guy from Cast Away is definitely alone. Someone living up in the mountains or deep in the country is pretty alone. Is the teenage boy or girl who sits in his room on their laptop alone?
So where can I find NO people?
I enjoy my time of solitude after a long day of going to work, doing some homework and socializing a bit with friends. It’s nice to get home, lock yourself in your room and listen to whatever music or play any games you like. But is this even solitude? What if I were on my laptop on Facebook or YouTube? Or on my phone messaging others? Or playing an online multiplayer game? It’s hard to be alone when there’s still so much human contact involved.
After reading an article by Josh Halliday involved with this topic, I came to the conclusion that most of us are never really alone. We may be physically away from other people but all our technology keeps us together in a certain way. We really only get alone time, we are never completely secluded from society. I realized that this even applied for me. My alone time consists of sitting by myself in my room, but still interacting with others in a virtual world.
Thinking about it, most people will probably find it pretty hard to find some actual solitude.That nice background filled with nature at its best, that claiming sound of nothing but the breeze, and the feel that there is nothing around you that can take this from you. Since most of us live in cities and thrive on our technology, we do not understand this type of true solitude. Along with constant construction and our industrial world expanding, solitude is becoming a dying art.
Solitude can be fun!
But let’s get away from the theatrics. Solitude and my description of alone time still have the same basic principle behind them: being away from other people. Everybody needs this time away to collect their thoughts, think about their day, and do something they enjoy. In fact, according to Mark Sisson in his article, it can be extremely healthy to take time a bit of time to yourself every day. It can be very distressing and can let you explore your hobbies.
Our culture is so inclined to interact with others that we sometimes forget how good solitude can be. There is a negative attitude towards people who enjoy their alone time, especially with younger adolescents. They may be mocked for their preference in seclusion but it is not their fault. They are just normal people like you and me who just find an interest in spending time alone. Everyone has something they like doing. So why should little Timmy be made fun of for something he likes? Society doesn’t mock those who enjoy sports, dancing or roller coasters.
For people like Phil Daoust, it can very stressful and exhausting to have to interact with so many people every day. Sometime I suffer from this as well. There are times that I need to just get away and not have to deal with other people for a bit. But I grew up with a background of solitude. My childhood consisted of a lot of alone time since I don’t have any siblings and I have divorced parents, who were rarely around the house. I didn’t think of it much at the time but this may be the reason why I enjoy it now. In high school, I couldn’t wait to get to university and have friends around me at all time. And even though I did really like it in my first and second year, I’m starting to get back to my roots coming up on my fourth year.
We do need others though…
I know I’ve been talking a lot about how solitude can be great and healthy, but being around other people in society is just as, if not more, important and healthy. Society is needed in order to develop social skills, worldly intelligence, and keep us functioning properly. Coming back to my Cast Away reference earlier on, socializing is very important to keep our brain in check. Loneliness can cause us to break down and possibly loose our sanity.
Relationships are another key factor in developing our character and personality. Sometimes there is nothing healthier than finding a good friend to be with or a special someone to love. I believe humans are given social skills and the intelligence to communicate with one another for a reason. Deep down, I believe we are social creatures that have a need to be around others. Sure, it’s great to get away from everything at times, but in the end, it’s amazing to connect with another human being.
dmorri02 